blog 5

ideas- I commented on one of my peers conclusions that he should always relate back to the thesis in his conclusion and he avoided that and did not exactly explain his perspective.

Overall while I believe that both Southan’s and Kaphar’s views are correct, but I side more with Southan. His views on art helping society are more realistic than Kaphar’s and are closer to my views. Art is not entirely useless but it is not as important as some people make it out to be.”

evidence- I commented on this part of my peers essay since I believe this could use more explanation and evidence from the texts given.

“The EA also possess’ a concept of replaceability as you reflect on the consequences of what would happen if you helped the little boy in the pond like in Peter Singer’s shallow pond versus if you were to just let him drown”

organization-I commented on a peers paper on these two paragraphs because I felt they would be more powerful as one paragraph by connecting them rather than separating similar ideas.

“I believe that society should not value art as highly as it does. Art in and of itself can be truly breathtaking. But to idolize every piece of art is overdoing it. Some artwork needs to be idolized and that is ok. Any art that serves a major impact on society deserves to be shown off.

But art that does not have a positive effect on society should not be promoted. We should not raise a society that believes they can be artists because when a society full of artists matures then we risk the lives of others because of a shortage of doctors and a surplus of artists and painters and sculptors.”

global edits- Think focusing on global edits really changes the essay more than local edits. Although local edits are important in many cases, the overall feel and perspective of an essay is more important and requires much more focus. I have found that reading through an essay more than once makes it easier to make global edits.

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